You used to be crazy in love with each other, so much so that you couldn’t bare to spend a night apart. When the two of you first met, you were mad about each other. When the two of you were together, it was like good old-fashioned movie romance – nothing else or no one else seemed to exist. You were happy to spend every waking minute together. You were in the love bubble, as loved up as can be. But now that’s all changed.
The relationship that you’ve always been so sure in has changed, and you don’t really know why. It’s not a big change; it’s lots of little things that equate to noticeable changes in the relationship that the two of you share. Somehow, the love that you have shared for the past few years seems to have gone, which has had a big impact on your relationship and how content you feel in it. You’re starting to wonder where the love has gone and why it has gone…
To help you work out what’s going on, below is a useful guide to take note of. Have a read and see whether any of the things mentioned below relate to your relationship and what could potentially be going on.
Your relationship has changed:
Over the past few weeks or months, you’ve noticed that your relationship has changed. The changes have been subtle, but you’ve noticed that there seems to be a lack of love, where before there was a lot of love, and it’s got you worried about what’s going on. You might not be able to put your finger on exactly what is wrong but you know something has changed, something is different.
Your partner is less affectionate with you. You’ve noticed that your partner seems to be less affectionate with you. There’s less cuddling, kissing, hand holding, and snuggling, when you try to show affection towards your partner, they almost seem to pull away. It makes you wonder, are you the problem or is it all in your head?
He’s always busy. Your partner used to have plenty of spare time for you, but now it seems like he’s always busy. He’s either working late, at the gym, seeing his friends, or taking part in some other curricular activity. You feel a little pushed out and are wondering why he doesn’t want to spend time with you. Could it simply be that he actually is really busy, or is there more to it than that?
There’s a tension that there didn’t used to be. It seems as if there’s a new tension between you and your partner that never used to be there. A tension that you can’t seem to determine the cause of, and it’s got you a little worried. What on earth is going on?
The issue is that relationships aren’t always easy to navigate, are they? Which can mean that working out what is wrong, or even if there is anything wrong, can be somewhat of a struggle.
You don’t know what to do:
You know that there’s something wrong, that something within your relationship isn’t as it should be, the problem is you can’t put your finger on what that is. You don’t know what to do because, on the one hand, you want to sort things out, but on the other hand, you don’t want to cause problems within your relationship if there aren’t actually any issues there.
Find out what’s going on. The first thing that you should do is take the time to find out what’s going on, the best way to do this is to try talking to your partner. Don’t just blurt out that you’re worried about your relationship, instead find the perfect time to talk and then bring up the fact that you feel like something isn’t quite right. Explain that you can’t put your finger on exactly what the issue is but that you are worried about your relationship as the love seems to have disappeared. Hopefully, they will open up to you and talk honestly with you about what’s going on.
Decide what you want to do next. If your partner isn’t willing to open up to you or dismisses the fact that there is anything wrong, perhaps it’s time to start thinking about what your options are. #CrazyThought: If you are worried that he’s cheating, could it be worth considering using investigation services to see what he’s up to? While you may not want to go behind your partner’s back, if you feel as if there’s something going on and he won’t tell you what it is, it could be a good idea to get some professional help determining what’s causing issues in your relationship. If it turns out there’s nothing going on, that’s great news, and you can go back to enjoying your relationship. If however, it turns out that there is something going on, then it could be time to think about what next steps you want to take.
Put yourself first. Last but not least, remember that the most important thing is to put yourself first. Regardless of what’s going on in your relationship, such as your partner playing away, so to speak, it’s important to think about what you want and need. Are you still in love with your partner, if the answer is yes, then fight for them. If you’re not sure how you feel about them, then perhaps it could be time to take a break to give yourself the space that you need.
It’s not easy knowing how to cope when the love leaves a relationship, and things begin to change, so if you’re struggling, don’t worry because you are not alone. Sometimes, it’s a perception thing, and nothing has really changed, it’s just a case of you feeling like it has. Other times something has changed, which has had an impact on the relationship that you and your partner share. The problem is that sometimes it can be hard to determine which of these is the case, which can put a strain on your relationship.