Often, when we set objectives, we distance ourselves from the equation. We think about the things we ‘should’ do in order to succeed, but we don’t define what success means to us. It’s more than getting a pay rise, a new job, passing an exam or getting married. Goals should come from how we want to feel and how we want to be in the world.
Though we may have a vague idea that we want to be thinner, fitter, and reduce our work commitments, etc., we never stop to ask ourselves a vital question. How can I improve myself? Pondering this question forces us to take a look at our lives and think carefully about our place in it.
Ask The Question
So, go ahead. Ask yourself the question. You may initially come up with those general ideas about body, career, etc. But dig a little deeper. Ask the question in relation to the following:
- Physical body and health
- Mental and emotional well-being
- Knowledge
- Skills and abilities
- Family member
- Partner
- Parent
- Friend
Dig a little deeper and try to get to the bottom of what you want out of life. Danielle LaPorte suggests starting with how you want to feel to achieve clarity and then working from there.
Therapy
Often when people first go to therapy, they’re not clear on what the problem is. They have an idea that they thought life was meant to be more than this. The therapist works with them to figure out what it is that they really want and they can then take steps to achieve it.
Therapy can also help with specific issues such as depression, anxiety, or help manage anger, etc. When it comes to personal development, these things can be overlooked until they limit our lives in some way. But for the person who feels sick with worry every day or can’t sleep at night, changing this aspect of their life could be the single best thing they ever do for themselves.
Journal
Another way to get at what you want out of life and figure out how to go about it is to journal. Sometimes the act of writing out our problems can ease them a little. It also triggers different parts of the brain and can help to see things in a different light and solve problems.
There are lots of online prompts to help you get started. And it needn’t be all about writing. Drawing and collage are useful too. The concept of art journaling has gained popularity in recent years, and many successful people use it in business and their personal lives.
To improve yourself, you have to become self-aware and reach a greater understanding of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. What is it you struggle with? What is limiting your life? What is missing that would make you feel happier, more secure, calm?
Before you set another goal or map out your month ahead, ask yourself a couple of questions. How do you want to feel? How can I improve myself?
