Written by: Sheryl Wright
If there are things in your life that just aren’t working, coaching can help, but you have to be ready for the information and be coachable. If you’re not yet coachable, talking to a counselor, working with a mentor, or just getting together with a friend to do some grumbling can help.
A Coach Vs. a Counselor
Coaching isn’t therapy, and this is really important. If you’ve tried coaching in the past and just felt battered because the person was trying to get you to do things you’re not brave enough to even attempt, you’re probably not ready for coaching, or at least not yet.
Therapy and counseling are tremendously important. If you’re emotionally or psychologically stuck because your thoughts and feelings are saying
- I can’t earn that much.
- I don’t deserve that kind of success, love, visibility, or whatever.
- What would I do with that life anyway?
then a coach is going to make you feel like a piñata that just can’t give up the goods. There’s a lot of whacking going on, but you’re not getting anywhere.
Identifying Stumbling Blocks
These thoughts are known as stumbling blocks. Stumbling blocks can come in many forms. They can be the voice of a parent or teacher letting you know not to get too big for your britches, or they can be a serious geographic limitation to starting the business you’re considering.
Each stumbling block can be overcome, and a coach can help you get there. If you go through your first session with a life coach in Milwaukee & Madison, WI, and feel completely overwhelmed, then the next step may be a counselor or therapist to get the “I can’t…” voices banished from your brain.
You may also need a mentor to help you break free of other limitations. If you have little capital, study other folks that started small and got big. If they’re local, send them an email or a card and ask for a mentoring meeting, or just for a chance to interview them.
Many people who started small and got big are excited to share their stories. However, you need to be sure to use your time wisely. Read what they’ve published. Study up on their quotes. Take notes about what they’ve said and looked for the questions you have that aren’t fully covered. If you can reach them, ask. You may get a one-word response, or you may find that you’ve pulled the plug on a lot of wonderful information and build a great mentoring relationship.
Owning Your Problems So You Can Address Them
A big part of a successful coaching program is navel-gazing. Some of what a coach will tell you are what you’ve always known you should be doing. If you want to write, are you setting a time and writing every day? You know you should be but should is a rather ugly and unhelpful word.
Your coach will talk to you about your writing goals. They’ll help you define the time of day that you will spend writing. They’ll motivate you by
- defining the goal: writing time
- checking in: did you, in fact, write at least a little during this time?
- facilitating your goal: what went wrong, and how can you work around that?
- inspiring you: celebrating on the days when you met your goal!
A coach can help you to stop the excuses that constantly play in your head. If you missed your designated writing target because your four-year-old had an upset tummy and you were doing laundry during your writing time, you have a legitimate excuse for missing your target. If you didn’t get your writing done because the television was on, your coach may gently remind you that there’s a remote to help you manage distractions.
The year 2020 has reminded us all that our lives are fragile. If you want more out of every day, you’re going to need help and guidance, and a coach is an ideal investment if you’re ready for coaching. If you’re not ready for coaching, take an honest look at why not and get some help to improve your odds of success.