Have you ever just needed mental space for a while, then felt guilty about it? Briana Roker and Dr. Genovia Holmes, self-care and mental health aficionados of “The Impact”: A Millennial Empowerment Experience, helped us redefine how to be selfish and unapologetic at the same dang time. On Saturday, January 27th The Impact Xperience hosted some of Dallas’s hardest working millennials in a transparent and refreshingly real way. Chef Gabrielle McBay, Forty Magazine’s Kian Hervey, finance guru Will Cyrus, truth teller Brandie Freely, and Black Girl Social’s Tori Lee, spearheaded a very selfish conversation.
A Selfish Discussion
The Impact Xperience embraced attendees in a light yet intimate atmosphere. The audience was able to engage in candid and free flowing conversations about the importance of self-identity, self-actualization, and self-love. The Impact Xperience understood that millennials are in need of unfiltered, raw, and real advice, and guidance to help us walk it like we talk it. This was not a conversation for delicate lilies and peonies. This was a conversation for roses. People who have multi-layered and beautifully complex petals yet also have thorns, imperfections, and hardships.
The Impact Xperience did not wish to merely inspire but to leave an impact in places otherwise left covered. In a culture that is beginning to realize the benefits of self-care, it can be difficult to identify exactly what caring for self should look, feel, and sound like. Where having a “moment” is a sign of weakness, uncovering the truth about what you should do with that “moment” is paramount. In a culture where men are taught not to show emotions, it becomes important to recognize that properly placing emotions can enhance relationships in all realms.
The Impact Xperience Taught Us Seven Ways to Be Selfish
- Learn the Difference between Re-Starting and Transitioning (Brandie Freely, @BrandieFreely)
Give yourself the time to properly grieve a situation’s end. This will help to completely give your all in the next situation. When we grieve properly, we will not feel the need to return to the pain later on. Instead of transitioning from one experience to the next, carrying the burden on our shoulders, we are able to freely put that weight down in order to pick up something more beneficial.
- Are You Masking Something or Rebuilding (Kian Hervey, @40Magazine)
We tend to cover our flaws and mistakes with material things, even other people. It is as if we are covering a hole in the wall with a genuine Picasso. Instead of compensating for a shortcoming, we should discover how the hole came about. Only then can we refill the hole in a healthy way and begin to rebuild.
- Learn to Highlight All the Pieces of the Process (Tori Lee, @BlackGirlsSocial)
Being broken is often painted as a hideous scar. Mental and emotional healing is now celebrated more than the process of becoming healed. Although brokenness is gruesome, it can be beautiful when used as your highway to healing. Take your time healing and don’t allow the world to rush you.
- Get Serious About Your Relationship with Your Emotions (Dr. Genovia Holmes, @GenoviaElle)
Admit to yourself that emotions are not facts. Your emotions are a response to a brief period of your perceived reality. Refrain from giving emotions free range to cause havoc. We give ourselves ample room to effectively cope when we process our emotions, instead of immediately reacting. Ultimately, how we interact with our emotions vastly determines how we will experience the healing process.
- Men Need Release, Too (Will Cyrus, @Cyrus_Financials)
Culture has never taught men healthy ways to relinquish their emotions. This has lead to men lacking in coping mechanisms to free themselves of emotional baggage. It is okay for men to take ownership of what they feel and why they may feel a certain way. It gives leeway to deal with the root. Women can help by encouraging transparent conversations instead of showing a negative response.
- Stop Sabotaging Yourself (Gabrielle McBay, @GabrielleMcBay)
At times we can cause ourselves to fall down. It, then, is our responsibility to pick ourselves up out of the mud. *Cue Donnie McClurkin* What are we giving away constantly that will ultimately leave us running on empty? These things emerge physically even though the action was mental. Recognize that depletion is a form of sabotage because you have nothing left to give. Be selfish regularly and devote time to fill yourself back up.
- Fear is A Part of Life, Get Over It! (Briana Roker, @BSRTheFashionista)
You don’t know everything. It is okay to admit that. Instead of allowing fear to paralyze you from starting, use it to propel you forward as positive energy. Uncover what you do know and what you need to discover. Figure out why you are afraid in the first place. Put in check the motive behind that fear. More often than not, the emotion was irrationally placed.
Connect with The Impact Xperience and discover how you, too , can be selfish…
Photos curtesy of @JustEyesPhotos