By: Melissa B.
Even though I’m no relationship expert, I’ve learned a few things over the years, through my parents’ marriage, and as I approach that milestone myself, there are a few pointers I discovered that are absolutely important to sustain a healthy union.
1. Never Go to Bed Upset
Ok, I know after a while, that gets old and if your spouse hits the wrong nerve; straight to the couch he/she goes, but the idea of being able to talk to my spouse about something that offended me (even if I have to take a few hours to cool of first) is very appealing and usually rewarding.
2. Never Be Afraid to Admit to a Mistake
So you spent more than what was budgeted, for a new pair of heels (that you really didn’t need) and pretended that you did nothing wrong, or even worse; you hid them. If your spouse can’t trust you, that’s the beginning of the end. Apologizing and meaning it goes a long way.
3. Never Share the Dislikes of Your Spouse with Your Family and Friends
Suddenly everybody is a therapist. Even that friend that has never been a relationship longer than 5 minutes, wants to tell you how to handle your situation. I strongly believe that when bad things happen in a relationship, the problems should be worked out internally. Why? When you have forgiven your spouse, the same friends and family who you told your business to, will still look at your spouse with unforgiveness in their hearts.
Side Note: This does not include abuse. No one should ever be quiet about being hurt.
4. Be Honest
Yes, you’re married, but you’re no mind reader. Being honest and transparent with your spouse about the things that you like or the things that trigger you, is very important. For example, if you didn’t like the black free trial dating lines they used on you during your first date, they deserve to know. That way, they can work on their jokes and how they talk to you. You would want them to do the same for you. Things that may have appealed to you at the beginning of the relationship, may not sit well with you 5 years from the time you exchanged vows, and that’s ok. As time goes on, people evolve. It’s the responsibility of both partners to be open about transitions they go through. The best thing to remember is that honesty is the best policy. If you are open with each other, then you can work on the things that you dislike or do like about each other. That way, you can both be happy and have a healthier and more transparent relationship.