It’s never a nice feeling to be romantically advanced when you’re either not interested or otherwise taken. At best, you have to politely reject someone, which is absolutely in your right to do of course, but you can never tell how they’ll take it. At worst, you may have to be very clear, and even assertive about your lack of interest. Both are important steps to take of course, as stamping out the opportunity or possibility immediately is key.
If you’re in a relationship, this can be even more awkward. This is especially true if someone doesn’t quite get the hint that you’re happy otherwise. Of course, if you feel in any way threatened or harassed it’s important to speak to the authorities. If it happens at work, speak to your boss, and escalate the issue. It’s important to remember you owe no one your time, especially not in a romantic setting.
But let’s say this experience has been somewhat odd, but not necessarily concerning. Where should you go from there? Consider this, below:
Establish Clear Personal Boundaries
It’s important to be very, very, very clear that you’re not interested from the off. A polite rejection, with no justifying or excuses, should be enough. If that person presses more, of course, you can tell them you’re in a happy relationship. If they progress further than that, this is when you distance yourself and escalate the issue. Remember you owe this person no explanation, nor justification past the one you’ve given.
Discuss This With Your Partner Immediately
It’s important to be completely proactive about discussing this issue with your partner. Tell them exactly what was said, show them the messages you may have been sent, and come up with a plan together.
In some cases your partner might talk to them, and they’ll advise you to escalate it at work or to avoid them in the morning. Either way, being open from the start is important, because you have nothing to be ashamed of. Unfortunately, those who help couples with quick divorce will tell you taht sometimes, a partner who entertains this attention for too long can sometimes lead to miscommunications, and so it’s better to be frank and clear to begin with, even if the situation is a little awkward.
Avoid Ambiguous Or Mixed Signals
If someone has shown they can’t take no for an answer, or that there’s always an awkward balance hanging over you, it’s important to seek help. But it’s also important to give zero responses to their messages, to avoid them when you can, and to limit contact. If they message you, do not reply to them, just leave their messages pending acceptance. When you shut down all and any opportunities, you don’t even begin to give communication that could be misinterpreted.
Unfortunately, this is how people who don’t understand boundaries latch on, they take even negative responses as an indication you’re spending time on them to begin with. Of course, raising the issues with your boss, a mutual friend or even the police is key. This will help you feel safe if you feel threatened in any respect. If not, it’s still important to make the issue known, just in case.
With this advice, we hope you can more easily make it through this awkward difficulty, and move on with confidence.