Author : Alexandria Traylor , thesouthernmuse.net
I remember searching for a job the last semester of my senior year in college and all throughout the summer immediately following my graduation. The job market seemed ruthless and littered with opportunities that I wanted, yet didn’t want me. I remember applying to at least 15 hospital systems in the Dallas and Houston metroplexes. All the effort that I placed into reviewing my resume then editing it possibly 25 times and countless conversations to practice my interviewing skills felt like it was in vain. Receiving email after email or call after call that I had some great professional skills but the company chose to go with another candidate was absolutely devastating to my confidence in my skills. It wasn’t until one year after I became employed at my current job that I started to be truly grateful as it was revealed to me what those “no’s” were really all about.
The Misconception in the No
The word no begins with an N which already alludes to a negative connotation in our minds. A no seems like a dead end with no hope of getting out. It may seem too strenuous or too difficult to find another way because you wrongfully automatically begin to assume that this path or journey wasn’t meant for you. You may even ask yourself if this was the only way to your goal, how in the world will you go on to achieve your vision now!? It may seem as if the no is a slap in the face. You have invested your heart, soul, time, effort and even your money into this way or this system. Don’t do as I did and assume that you are unwanted, untalented or unqualified. Don’t allow a closed opportunity or a barred door to leave you feeling sad, disappointed, or discouraged. The denial was a test in your ability to gracefully seek another avenue, a new pattern. The No was another opportunity in hiding, waiting for you to recognize that there is something much better.
What No Really Means
No is just a tool to re-route your existing plan to a potentially better one. It is possible that you need more experience in order to fully be capable of handling that opportunity to the best of your capacity. You are equipped to accomplish your goal, but you have to find another way, another source, or another outlet. That is perfectly okay! You cannot rely solely on your limited knowledge of the future in order to determine what successes you may have. A declination in your original plan is your opportunity to be creative. Create another way were there wasn’t one originally. It is an opportunity to stretch your knowledge and mature outside of your comfort zone. When you are pushed to do things that you have never done before, you are then expanding your reach and experience with problem solving and critical thinking. It will be tough but priceless experience in the end. Re-direct your focus from the failure to the opportunity.
The Value in the No
When you come to comprehend that failure in some capacity is inevitable on the way to achieving your vision, you will be able to better understand the innate value that every No is loaded with. Rearrange your outlook to believe that you may now know 25 ways in which not to be successful. You know 25 ways that your vision wasn’t meant to go. Now, you also know 25 ways to fall and yet get back up even stronger. A closed door only means that that option is not meant for you at the current time. Meet the challenge with a mutual respect in hopes of trusting the process. The process was meant to carve out a foundation of experience for your vision. Once you receive that which you have asked for you will be more thankful for it. The value lies in your strengthened capabilities. You will be able to share your story and newfound strength in difficult time in order to encourage another person through their season of no. Rejection will also force you to search for other resources in hopes of making better connections than those that you had before.
