Written by: Shawn M.
Marriage isn’t only sweets and flowers. It isn’t only the name of walking through beautiful meadows, creating ever-lasting memories, or living the best of your life with your significant others. It isn’t all rainbows.
In actuality, I’d say marriage is what it takes to bring about that rainbow. It is the name of conquering heaps and mountains of hardships together to get where you two want to. It is the name of not giving up when you utterly, direly want to. It is the name of surviving together in this cruel, unsparing world, being a safe harbor to one another, being each other’s biggest back and support. Naturally, it can get ugly at times. It can get hard at times. Most importantly, it can become too challenging and demanding at times. But that’s where you need to pour in all of yourself.
Perhaps the first of the challenges begin with moving in together after tying the knot. Let’s have a look at the matter and also evaluate potential tips that could make the whole process slightly easier.
Make Room
For most of us, sharing our space is too much to ask for – be it emotionally, mentally, or physically. We tend to be too invested and occupied with ourselves. You might deny this at first thought but come to think of it: back before marriage, how much control and authority did you grant to your beloved in your matters?
If significant, I’m glad you don’t have much to work upon. If you’ve let your significant other slip into the deepest, darkest parts of you and permitted them to have the lead, you’ll have almost no trouble sharing your physical space.
If not, you need to work quite a bit. I’d suggest you begin in the reverse order, i.e., from physical to emotional. Before your partner moves in, declutter your stuff and make room for them in your apartment or house. Leave an equal amount of shelf space, drawers, cupboards, and even pantry space for them. Allowing them to have the same share as yours in your space will assist your mental growth in this aspect as well.
Gradually, you will make room for them in your head and let them have a say in matters that purely, solely concern you. You will make room for them emotionally, and instead of thinking for yourself only, you’ll think for them too (particularly when making big decisions.)
Ownership is now a matter of two
For uniting as one, it is important to see yourself and your partner as two parts of a single unit. That’s what the exchange of your engagement rings symbolized.
Your house, finances, the success of careers, and all the material stuff – it belongs to you both. And hence, both opinions matter.
For example, when you move in together and it’s time to renovate the house, make sure you mutually decide upon the color scheme, theme, décor, and everything else. If there are no common grounds between you two, then you perhaps divide areas in the house such that you and your partner equally get an opportunity to showcase bits of their personality in the house that you both set up.
Also, we recommend you not to neglect this essential aspect because that’s what it takes to turn a house into a home. Similarly, even in terms of income, the ownership belongs to you both equally (even if only one person is earning!).
Divide…..and rule.
When moving in together, household chores can become a major point of conflict. Couples all around the world tend to get distanced from one another solely based on a false assumption: the other doesn’t care enough. While in actuality, the unfair division of household work is nothing but a matter of disorganized approach.
Hence, when marking the beginning of a new life, divide your responsibilities in the house so either of the two does not feel more burdened. Analyze your strong grounds and divide tasks accordingly.
Remember: Communication is the key
Last but of course, most importantly: prioritize communication.
If you’re sad, let your partner know.
If you’re furious, let your partner know.
If you’re confused, let your partner know.
Just don’t keep them guessing! Lack of communication often leads to the development of misunderstandings, which poisons the bond between you and your significant other.
Be it in a matter as petty as changing the color scheme of your house or a matter as huge as wanting a legal share in the house’s owner. If you have processed your thoughts and are sure about the emotion that you are currently experiencing, then let your significant other knows. In this way, you can both deal with it together.
Final Thoughts
Conclusively, I’ll leave a gentle reminder: marriage is all about persistence. No matter how tough the times get, no matter how difficult you may seem to one another at a point or two in life, you’ve got to stick by each other’s side. Adjustments are not something you’ve to pay attention to in your first year together. Instead, a healthy relationship will ask for these adjustments at all times. You’ve got to keep yourself ready and willing to invest the effort.
