Relationships are an essential part of every person’s life, but sometimes when we find the soulmate, the scenario may differ from how we imagine it.
Of course, when you live in the same city and spend all your free time together, this is the perfect picture of a relationship. But there are times when it is necessary to part with a loved one, and sometimes even live on different continents. Some people find love in other countries, inspired by the best dating sites review. In such a situation, you need to be prepared for several difficulties that may arise until you two find a way to be together.
So does distance affect relationships, and how to survive a long-distance relationship? Let’s look at the difficulties and long-distance relationship tips together with psychologists.
The main problems in long-distance relationships
It is important to understand that a relationship on distance is the same connection between two loving people ready to do much for their partner. However, in a situation where you live in different cities or countries, several specific points are worth paying attention to.
First of all, we are talking about the lack of personal contact and ordinary everyday life, which form that closeness that is difficult to destroy. Besides, many couples find that distance ruins trust and forces one partner to question the sincerity of the other’s feelings, which causes irritation and leads to a breakup.
To understand the issue in more detail, it is necessary to determine the main potentially dangerous moments in a relationship at a distance.
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Lack of personal contact
When you spend time together, you get to know your partner better, show and accept caring, talk heart to heart, and touch each other. The combination of these signs gives you the ability to feel needed and loved. When there is no personal contact and the opportunity to show your feelings for a partner, this affects the relationship’s quality and inner satisfaction with them.
You have no one to rely on
You always rely only on yourself and solve all your problems yourself. Your partner will not always be able to bring you the necessary medicines; you will not always be able to count on appropriate support and care, which is sometimes essential for difficult situations. At the beginning of a relationship, this point is not too painful, but over time, there is a desire to feel real closeness and support of a loved one.
Virtual communication can twist reality as both partners acquire their interests and new acquaintances. Nothing brings a couple closer than common hobbies and activities. The longer you stay away from each other, the more likely it becomes that you may lose interest in your partner or even stop understanding each other, so, as a result, long-distance relationships don’t work.
The risk of falling for someone else
No one is safe from casual and new acquaintances, including couples who live together. However, partners living in different cities are in a high-risk group since they do not have joint leisure activities – they spend evenings alone or with friends, so they can often meet new people. And sometimes, these casual meetings turn into something more serious than just flirting.
When you live with your partner, you learn about their schedule, habits, routines. However, in long-distance relationships, you do not know anything about how your partner spends the day, which often leads to suggestion, jealousy, and, as a result, scandals and breakups.
Besides, a person may have problems at work or some personal happenings. They unlikely want to upset you with unnecessary information. This understatement also provokes mistrust and can grow into much more serious problems.
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Tips for long-distance relationships
Stay attentive to each other
Listen and hear your partner’s needs, remember tastes, traits, preferences, and do not forget to remind them about yours.
Of course, not in the form of claims: “How could you forget that today is such an important day for me!” It will be much more efficient if you say, for example: “Today is an important day for me. I need you to support me.”
Learn to negotiate
Relationships are impossible without conflicts and misunderstandings. When they are at a distance, our imagination can complete fantastic stories, passing them off as reality.
When arguing, try to solve the problem, and not hit the weak points of your partner. Don’t try to “improve” them. There are always things that we would like to change, but it is worth teaching yourself to do this in the form of dialogue and not “training.”
None of you should “lose your voice” in important decisions just because you are distant and unable to be physically present at the discussion.
Respect each other’s privacy
There is a great temptation to start controlling a partner in a long-distance relationship, their every step and movement.
Try to stay as restrained as possible. If it does not affect the important moments of you two, give each other freedom. Don’t put too much control while trying this ineffective way to calm your anxieties.
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Create “your world for two”
The most important point that will make relationships work at a distance is to create your little world – such a cozy, warm, and safe “your world for two.” With your own rules, your atmosphere and way of life.
- First, the rules. Not severe, but supporting a clear and acceptable combination of tasks and responsibilities for both of you during the absence of another partner.
- Secondly, traditions. Non-violent but enjoyable actions and rituals that brighten your relationship.
- Thirdly, your stories, little shared secrets, pleasant memories, special words, tender and funny names.
Plan a common future
Imagine, plan, dream, visualize your joint future, and do not be greedy with words, emotions, or bright colors. Express your expectations for future events. Suggest your ideas and ambitions.
So, having analyzed the main problem points of the issue, it is worth deciding about maintaining relationships at a distance. And it is essential to note that the only possible option for building a healthy bond at a distance is one in which you agree for how long you will be apart: “when I finish education,” “when the contract ends,” “when we finish building the house.”
If there is an exact date, agreement, and a joint perspective, you will be able to maintain trust and mutual interest since your couple has a goal that you strive for. However, if your relationship looks more like a short romance with no plans for the future, then most likely, one of you avoids real relationships.
Do you have experience in long-distance relationships? Tell us what is the most important thing for you in maintaining a strong bond? Please share your experience in the comments below.
Patricia Jackson is a psychologist and relationship expert. She recently discovered her talent as a writer and is now sharing with people her experience and thoughts about love, relationships, and family. Patricia loves to spend her free time with her family, travel together, and develop her creative talents.